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Suicide Note to Maisara


I die….

In exactly three minutes from now. These words have been written about four hours ago. No, I wasn’t thinking about dying yesterday or even this morning. It just happened really recently, some time around 2:45 pm. When the ray penetrated through that dusty window of mine, I saw powdery air and I said to myself “Well the air is somehow polluted, think I want to die today”.


I am crazy….

Thought you should know how crazy I am, was. How crazy I was. Now that I am dead, I can’t seem to figure the structure of this letter. This confirmed my insanity, isn’t it? Is it too late for you to become a doctor? I need to be diagnosed. Go take the course, so you can discover some things about me. I’m not going to tell you what is wrong with me because I am clueless too. My brain, I’m scared of it. Would you take a look at it? You take the course now, and come back. Dig me out of the grave, and don’t look at my face, as it will look rotten, but instead remember me as who I was, and start your research. Because all you can tell right now, at this moment, is that I have a problem, we need more than that.


I am actually dying…

Since the very beginning. You would think I’ll tell you? No, of course I wanted to have some fun. But you could tell I wasn’t really scared of anything, right? I drank everything to the very last. I took more pills after another. What did you think I was up to? To double up the process. But I was always terrified when crossing the road, you knew this. That is because I didn’t want to die on the road, it kills the element of curiosity towards me and it wouldn’t be fun. I wanted to puzzle you.


I die…

Without telling you. Have I ever told you anything about you hurting my feelings? Why do you think I should tell you that I decided to take my own life? Remember when I told you about destruction over my routine? He was my routine for six months and when he went away from me, I got lost. What do you think will happen to me when you are not around, during the time I want you to? You are the second person to walk away and spoil the routine, our routine, that doesn’t make you a good person to me, does it? The ray is now (presently as I am writing this) moving downwards into a more stiff angle, signing that time is getting so close. I want to die at 7:05 pm today.


I die and….

Like you always told me, ‘You’re one of a kind’, you have never known how dangerous and destructive that sentence is. Because I am, one of a kind. But do you know what kind? How should I begin this with? Okay, you know how you could never know a person entirely? I think this is a good start. And a good ending too.


P/S: If you find my dead body tomorrow or the day after, bear with the time setting of this letter. I think you’re smart enough, just not enough to tell what’s wrong with me the entire time.

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  • 1) another suicide note, juZ read naniemk post.

    is it the answer?

  • (Author)
    2) Not necessarily the answer but it is surely damn satisfying to write a suicide note (so the other person would stop judging and actually realize that her friend was really sick). But then again, suicide note comes with...well...suicide.
  • 3) that first comment was mine
    what is wrong with this thing?
  • 4) that first comment was mine
    what is wrong with this thing?

    --> deceased? ok ucu, write your suicide note now...*ok, ai gurau2 je ucu, jgn buat betul2 ok*

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